If twitter was 10,000 years old

twitter statue 2

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if the world before social media was more productive. I’ve read that true innovation happens in isolation. How has social media influenced the last 8 years or so?

Naturally, I imagined what a few pre-Twitter, pre-Facebook, pre-email, pre-internet classic figures from history would have said had they had an iPhone in their pocket.

For some reason, they get really stupid. I don’t know why. Stupid Internet.

he's got really good wifi reception.

he’s got really good wifi reception.

totally uncalled for.

totally uncalled for.

I see a pillow fight in their future.

I see a pillow fight in their future.

I KNEW it!

I KNEW it!

I feel you, dawg.

I feel you, dawg.

see, he just LOOKS hungry.

see, he just LOOKS hungry.

this is why he's Shakespeare, and you're not.

this is why he’s Shakespeare, and you’re not.

get over yourself, B-Hov.

get over yourself, B-Hov.

he prolly flings his own poo. weirdo.

he prolly flings his own poo. weirdo.

OH, i get it!

OH, i get it!

sucks to be you, Sal.

sucks to be you, Sal.

almost as much as the 1700's.

almost as much as the 1700′s.

jerkhole

jerkhole

you can see it on her face.

you can see it on her face.

umm

umm

calculating new theory of how to arrive at salon while open...

calculating new theory of how to arrive at salon while open…

but it doesn't feel round, P-Dawg.

but it doesn’t feel round, P-Dawg.

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4 thoughts on “If twitter was 10,000 years old

    • Do you suppose he sat around at home in his silk robe, watching Jerry Springer, but still with his eyes REALLY wide open like he sat on a pine cone, with his sweet ‘stache all pokied up with wax? Did he ever let his ‘stache down?

      I was tempted to really roll my eyes at him, but you gotta hand it to him for growing such a lovely, manly hair ornament. I don’t know if I could focus all my testosterone for that. Actually, I lost track of my testosterone years ago. so there’s that.

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